The Board of Trustees at the March 15, 2010 meeting decided to change Cowley for the better. The new mascot for the college will be a goat but not just any goat. The goats of Todd Shepherd, department chairman of the social science department, are going to be the living icons of the school.
With the increase of tiger populations around the world according to National Geographic the college has looked into more endangered animals to replace the aging tiger mascot such as goats.
The goat population has been on the decline and through even more research from Shepherd the population has been reduced to just his goats.
Shepherd has any goats but his most prized one is Billy. Billy has been the inspiration for the group and will always remain the icon of the Coalition.
With the advice from Shepherd and many supporters of the Billy Goat Coalition the college changed over to a goat mascot. The Coalition is made up of both students and faculty. The president is Todd Shepherd.
When the announcement was held after the closed meeting the Coalition threw a party at the Shepherd house with goat cheese and milk to dedicate the victory.
The college will be remodeling the campus in honor of the new mascot. The banquet held in honor for Shepherd and the mascots will be held April 1, 2010 in the Wright Room in the Robert Brown Theatre at 6:30 p.m.
Reader’s note: This story is purely satirical and is a spoof specifically for April Fools’ Day.